War Zones and Family Gatherings

War Zones are treacherous places. Countries where a war has been can remain a dangerous place even years later. Take Cambodia, for example. Landmines are everywhere and to this day, some 35 years after their war, undetected landmines and other unexploded ordinances still kill and maim people. Many of those wounded or killed today are people who have always known them to be there, their whole lives.

Wikitravel, in their “war zone safety” pages tell you, “When in an area that is known or suspected to be mined, stay on paved road when possible. If not possible, follow car tracks or well-trod foot paths. Should you, despite your best efforts, find yourself in a mined area, stop. Stay where you are and call for assistance from someone who knows what they are doing. If this is not possible, retrace your exact steps back to safety (this is very dangerous). If you have a long rod (even a pen might work), you may be able to check for mines and escape the area. Insert the rod into the ground at a very shallow angle. Mines will not normally be triggered when they are hit from the side. You need to check an area just big enough for your foot. Keep doing this for every step. It could take hours, even days to get out of the danger area, but you should be alive.”

The US State Department has pages and pages on their web site and are very adamant about the dangers of travelling to a country in the grips of war. You are warned of capture, murder, beatings and worse. Yes, they tell you that if you have to go there, if you absolutely have to, there are some things you can do to help protect yourself. Training for the unexpected, escort services or other organizations already on the ground are all tools and options. Everything tells you to be acutely aware of the area, the situations you are entering, and all of the small details. Be aware. It’s a war zone.

As I prepared for my trip to what could possibly be a war zone this summer, I followed a lot of their recommendations. I did my best to be up-to-date on the governmental leadership in the area. I learned the regional languages and nuances. I packed with the knowledge of the situations, landscape and weather. I also prepared an exit strategy. There are certain things that I felt could be used to extricate myself in case I get into the heat of a battle or in the center of a conflict. Typically you do not have a dog in the fight, you do not explain your opinion or thoughts; it’s just “exit stage left”, and quickly.

The top five recommended responses by the US State Department if you are captured and taken hostage are: 1) Retain a sense of pride but act cooperative, 2) Divulge only information that cannot be used against you, 3) Make every effort to avoid embarrassing the U.S. and the host government, 4) Do not antagonize your interrogator with obstinate behavior, and finally, 5) Concentrate on surviving. If you are to be used as a bargaining tool or to obtain ransom, you will be kept alive.

As I travel to Ohio for the family reunion I already know I am in a dangerous area. This is my wife’s side of the family and I have to be on high alert. She is very sensitive to almost any comment I might have on anything. Yankee jokes or humor is a bomb looking for a place to explode. It took me hours to get out of that landmine field just yesterday.

I am already going, it is by my own free will and I am excited about it. We love her family and getting together after so long will be good. But family together in a small place for several days can be tricky. I intend to use the hostage guidelines provided by the State Department as follows. 1) Pride in being married to my wife will be easy; pride to be a part of her family, not a problem, 2) Talk as little as possible, only when spoken to, maybe, 3) see number 2, and 4) I have cash in my pocket to make sure if I need to “go get ice” or volunteer to purchase any items missed I can do that without hesitation. I will try my best to be cheerful and involved.

When Jesus performed His first miracle, He was at a wedding. John 2:1-11, “On the third day a wedding took place at Cana in Galilee. Jesus’ mother was there, and Jesus and His disciples had also been invited to the wedding. When the wine was gone, Jesus’ mother said to Him, “They have no more wine.” “Woman, why do you involve me?” Jesus replied. “My hour has not yet come.” His mother said to the servants, “Do whatever He tells you.” Nearby stood six stone water jars, the kind used by the Jews for ceremonial washing, each holding from twenty to thirty gallons. Jesus said to the servants, “Fill the jars with water”; so they filled them to the brim. Then He told them, “Now draw some out and take it to the master of the banquet.” They did so, and the master of the banquet tasted the water that had been turned into wine. He did not realize where it had come from, though the servants who had drawn the water knew. Then he called the bridegroom aside and said, “Everyone brings out the choice wine first and then the cheaper wine after the guests have had too much to drink; but you have saved the best till now.”” What Jesus did here in Cana of Galilee was the first of the signs through which He revealed His glory; and His disciples believed in Him.

Jesus was a bit aggravated, but he knew what he should do. Now I am not comparing myself to Jesus, but the Bible is a book of directions, instructions and examples for us to use. He did what He knew needed to happen and the blessings were astonishing to all. Yes, this is just a family reunion, but I am no dummy. I am going to try my best to stay out of a war zone. To not aggravate or distract from the mission at hand. I am going to pray, smile and be the best husband I can be. Let’s Roll!

The Best and Worst Twenty-Two Minutes of My Life

There is not a lot you can do in just twenty-two minutes.  It's not long enough to watch a TV show, and you can't drive hardly anywhere, or make it through the checkout stand at a busy grocery. I can get dressed and out the door in that time, but my wife? Not a chance. Most people connecting to their Facebook page, talking on the phone, or checking email go over twenty-two minutes easily. What is twenty-two minutes worth, anyway? The average person worldwide lives about 64.3 years. This would be 33,819,228 minutes; what can possibly come from only twenty-two minutes of that?

Almost 2 years ago, I asked a friend of mine who was coming off cancer treatment if he wanted to take a weekend and go with me fishing, and he said no. He told me how he only had a certain number of Saturdays until his son was 18 (he gave me the exact number), and said that he really did not like to miss any of them. Wow, that really took me off balance. How could someone be so in tune with their life, their time left here? It had to be the reality that came with knowing that he could go at any time, that his cancer could have taken him out of his son’s life. Can a regular person, who does not fear imminent death or a tragic event, come to the same realization?

God spoke to me that day. I realized that one of the things which I considered a hassle, driving my then 14-year-old to school each day, needed to be looked at differently. That as the youngest and only one left at home, my son would in just two years walk out to his own vehicle and drive himself to school. I needed to change my way of experiencing mornings with him. God pressed in on me; I was not sure of what it should look like, but knew that somehow those twenty-two minutes a day had to matter more.

For the next two years I was there to drive him, and then to drive with him when he got his learner’s permit. No matter how far away I went or how late my travels brought me in, I was standing at the front door, ready to roll, in the morning. The first while we would just talk, and then I started reading a daily devotional. It was all good but it never felt just right. Then we found The Knight's Code by Robert Noland, and began to take turns reading it on the way, and talking about what we read. We designated the last stretch of the drive a "prayer road" and prayed each day for a good day and more.

Now, it was not always some pretty, Spirit-filled sanctuary in that truck. Not by a long shot. We took turns being really crap-heads to each other and on the days we were both that way, well, look out. But for the most part I think it made a difference; at least it did to me. We talked about some serious topics and had a few really good moments where I felt God's presence.

A couple weeks ago I found an old Dodge pickup. It was a good deal and fit what our vision and our budget could handle for his first truck. Then, last Tuesday I walked him to the end of the drive and watched as he loaded that old Dodge pickup with his baseball gear, his backpack and his lunch, and then he drove off, alone, to school. I was awash in emotions; still am.

As the days crept by I could not help wonder if there was anything, anything at all, that he took away from our morning commute time together. One day he volunteered to drive me to the store to get some things his mom needed. As we drove along, I noticed he had a towel on the console between the seats and a pack of baby wipes in the slot on his driver's door. Those were things I have always done in my truck, for years. I had to wonder: if he picked up on that, what else did he get? Did he hear the part about keeping God first, keeping a "band of brothers, truth, honor, and respect”?

Now, I am trying to figure out what to do with that time each morning. I used to go to the coffee shop and write, read, and meet folks after I dropped him at school. Now, everything seems off balance. I have started going to the gym a little, which I do not like, and running at the park, which I do like. I replaced my broken bird feeder and filled it. I enjoy sitting on the porch, drinking coffee and watching the birds. But I just don't feel like I know what I am supposed to do. OK, Lord, what's next? I’ve got time… twenty-two minutes, to be exact.

Why Do I Do What I Do, Over and Over Again....

I don't remember exactly how old I was, maybe 10 or 11. We had gone somewhere in the neighborhood on foot. But along the way we lit up a smoke. I don't know where it came from, where the matches came from but we had a cigarette and we lit it and started smoking it. That was when things took a turn for the worse and to this day I can put myself right there on the sidewalk, the warm concrete of a summer  day comforting my green face. I got so dizzy, sick, nauseated. Everything was spinning, it was horrible and the only small element of comfort came from laying down right then on the sidewalk.

When I began using chewing tobacco so many years later it was about the same thing. I had been given some free at a trade show and it sat around. One day out of boredom I opened a package and slapped a chunk into my mouth. Ugg, gross, what could anyone ever like about this. Same thing the next day until I was "enjoying" the use of it every day for years.

A couple years ago I went to the doctor for my regular yearly checkup that I have every couple years if I remember. I was in fine health except he suggested I watch my sugar intake. Well you could have just said don't touch that little boy or you will get burned. I have since had a terrible craving for sweets of every kind. What the heck. I am drawn to it like a bug to a light.

So often the things we are drawn to are the things that can wound us or are the most unhealthy for us. Tobacco, sugar, relationships, work, money

Judas was one of Jesus' chosen apostles. There was quite a ruckus when it came to being part of the inner 12, lots of guys wanted in, but he was selected. What an honor. Alas, he became drawn away by riches and fame. He saw the procurement of silver worth more than the relationship he had formed with the other apostles and even more, Jesus. He was hearing the truth, he was witnessing incredible miracles and having life explained to him personally by God's son and he could not keep it together.

All the apostles struggled with believing the things Jesus was teaching them over the three years He was with them. Walking for days right next to Him, sleeping outside under the starts night after night. Yet struggling. How could that possibly be?

I don't fall prey to everything that comes my way that is unhealthy for me. I do have some inner strength. I have discovered that many of the demons I struggle with have more meaning below the surface.

Take the young man I talked with recently who said he always has a set of clothes and other assorted things in his truck. As a boy, his parents divorced and every other week he would be shuffled back and forth from his mom's to his dad's. Inevitably he would forget something and have to do without. Even worse one of his parents would voice a disappointing word that he forgot a needed item. The fear, the wound, carried over to this day, he is 30.

If you study up on Judas just a bit, you see he came from a background where he pilfered a few coins on occasion in his past job. John 12:6, "He said this, not because he cared about the poor, but because he was a thief, and having charge of the moneybag he used to help himself to what was put into it." He was also the guy in charge of the 12 apostles' money, and he may have been tempted there as well.

So he had a struggle he carried with him, a demon. Was it that he was poor as a child and never wanted to be without a coin in his pocket again. Was he hungry as a child and had made a promise to himself to never subject himself to that again; we may never know. We do know it did not turn out well for him

We all have our struggles, our demons. Call it what you like, call it sin, we all have it. It has been there since Adam and Eve let it in. Forgiveness is only found in the process of Romans 10:9. Does that mean we will never fall back or discover other transgressions, no, not at all

I can count off a list of times I have tried something with a bad outcome or experience and despite the consequences or known danger, did it again, and again. What about the old saying, "if you touch the stove and burn yourself you learn not to touch the stove." My hands are all burned up and I continue to touch the dang flame. Not always in the same place, not always the same stove

Things that once did not bother me now burn when I touch them. Things I once thought I enjoyed are now offensive to me. I don't laugh at all the same things and cringe at ideas I once found appealing. It might be old age, maybe it is lack of brain power, I think it is God working on me.

Good news is, the victories outweigh the losses or failures. The light at the end of the tunnel, the prize, the gift of life today far exceed the negative. I am so glad to be in a relationship with Christ. So glad. I am so excited with all the things He has and continues to do in my life. He strengthens me and loves me and cares for me like I have never experienced and it is what I was looking for my entire life. A family, a place to belong, someone to care for me so deeply that they would take a bullet for me, or give their son to die on the cross for me. Incredible.

Hassle Holidays

I  have a great list of things that make me smile every time I think of them. My kids of course, my wife, some friends. There is also a list of things that I have heard or seen that can turn that frown upside down. The list can be added to at any moment, take the comment I heard recently that has me smiling as I write it here. Hassle Holiday.

Now let me set up the scene for you. I am in the office of a dear friend. She is an amazing mom, wife youth leader at our church. She is also a very well-respected attorney and travels the world solving legal problems for people. It is just before Halloween, we are sitting in her office preparing for a very important meeting. I asked what her family would be doing for Halloween. That was when I heard the term "Hassle Holiday" for the very first time. 

"That is a Hassle Holiday and we don't mess with all that trick or treat, candy, costume stuff. We have a family movie night and dinner out," she said in an almost passing manner. The term took a second to sink in, but then it was like the switch was flipped for me. "What do you mean?" I asked. "Yes there are certain holidays that are just a lot of hassle and I don't know that we want to celebrate them. We don't care if others do, but we just have a family tradition of going out to eat and a movie."

I was laughing. I loved it. I love that she was so matter-of-fact about it. That it was a term I had never heard and it was part of her family dialect. I asked her what other holidays are considered Hassle Holidays. "Valentine's Day," she said with her classic smile. "What, you are kidding me," I exclaimed.

"No really. It is just another day and it should be practiced all year not just one day." OK, so I have heard this from a guy once and when he executed the nothing mode on Valentine's Day it did not go well for him at home. I'm not sure how her husband deals with this, but I am sure it is a fine line. It has to be.

So I got to thinking about other possible Hassle Holidays and none come up as more of a hassle than Christmas. 

I won't waste the ink here talking about the commercialization of Christmas and how many claim it ruined the most important day of the year. Those same folks also claim it is the reason for the polar ice caps melting and the decline of the banana industry in Florida. Horrible.

But Christmas is the one holiday that penetrates all of society and creates waves of emotions that are almost unlimited. Shopping, decorating, travel, cards, work deadlines, guests in our home. Each of these can be wearing on our physical and emotional limits. Highs and lows. Hassles and joy.

The Spirit of Christmas came from a pretty hassle-free event that created a simplistic opportunity for folks around the world to experience joy. A baby born in the meekest, low-tech, inexpensive birthing center around, a stable. The birth of that child, now thousands of years later, gave us a story, a guide, a life to look at and know that through all the hassles and headaches of today, there is hope. Knowing Christ, Jesus, the baby born that day does not remove the hassles, it just puts them on the back burner. 

They never again have to be the objective of the day. 

This Christmas I am going to, again, try to be happy and do more for others. I am going to get out of myself and look to bless as many folks as I can. I am going to try to not complain about the decorations when my wife asks for my help and not be waiting with a cardboard box in my hand the day after Christmas to get this hassle of a holiday put up and behind us.

Each year as I get older the pages on the calendar go by faster. In my heart I so want to do life well. I don't want  to let the hassles of life get in way of loving my family well. I want to listen better and not consider conversations I don't instigate as a hassle. I so desperately want to reach out to others and not consider unplanned encounters a hassle. I want to celebrate life, the gift of each moment, hassle-free with the knowledge that I am loved by a heavenly Father. That my family and friends know I love them dearly. That I am not a hassle for them but a blessing. 

If this is the time of year you experience joy, soak it in. If this is a time of pain for you, look to a relationship with our Heavenly Father. Getting to know Him, becoming a part of His family is truly hassle-free, He designed it that way on purpose. Romans 10:9, Because if you acknowledge and confess with your lips that Jesus is Lord and in your heart believe that God raised Him from the dead, you will be saved.

A very hassle-free Merry Christmas y'all. God Bless.

TJ Greaney
TJ@kidsoutdoorzone.com

God, Coffee, and a Biker

The beep on my iPhone goes off early, and I roll over to look at the incoming message. I see there are a few that came in during the night. Some folks working, some auto deliver, some spam. But at that moment I return to where I was the day before and the day before that. At work, thinking about what I have to do, about all there is that needs to get done. I'm off and running although maybe slower in the early morning hours, I'm off. My work day begins.

I know I am most likely not telling anyone anything they do not already know. I have been thinking about the comment someone said not long ago how an employer who gives their employee a smart phone can get a lot of work out of them that they might not get otherwise. Think about it. Who checks emails at their desk at 9 p.m. - who does it from their phone all hours of the day and night? 

So often we become our work. We are super fast on returning comments by others, hammer on projects, emails, stuff, all hours of the day or night. It is a rare person who puts down their phone when the 5 o'clock bell rings and leaves it until the next day. We adults are almost as bad, or worse, as the kids today, we can barely sit still without grabbing for our back pocket comfort electronics. But then, again, we all know this.

So we become super employee and start phasing out the things we used to be. We cancel trips or stare at our phone the whole time on a family vacation.  We email, text and Facebook as our kids read their stories or talk about their day. But hey, we get stuff done.

So what do we sacrifice when we become our work? We are no longer the bike rider, the fisherman, the woman who loves to sew or craft? Even worse we skip the morning time with God reading our Bible or walking quietly. We no longer sit with our journal and a cup of coffee as our family awakens, basking in the emotion of a new day. We don't hear well when our kids speak and don't call our elderly parents as often. I am guilty.

James was wandering inside the coffee shop. Everyone was busily getting their morning coffee, talking, shuffling along. I watched him walk about as though he was waiting on someone, looking to strike up a conversation. His clothes were a bit ruffled and he wore a desert camo hat strapped below his chin. In my mind, I discounted him early and in some way thought, hoped, I would not be confronted by him for conversation.

I got my small coffee, dark roast, black and made my way to an outside table on the porch. I never sit outside but today, God had a different idea. James was standing next to his bike, next to where I sat. I looked at him and gave him the obligatory smile and quickly looked away so as to not be drawn into a conversation. I took out my laptop and turned it on.

"How does that work," James asked. "I am going to buy one today." And the conversation began. I wanted to cut it short, give brief answers, be distracted by my ever-important work. God would not have anything to do with that. 

"I love to write stories, but I only have an eighth-grade education," he said in a joyful voice. " Well, I began, I only have an eighth-grade education, and I write stories. You can do it if it is what God wants you to do." The conversation wandered around the Bible and the story of Adam and Eve. James talked about his struggles with alcohol and how money made him mess up. "I know what you mean. I struggle every day too," I assured him. We talked about the things in his life that influence him away from God and how we should walk inside the coffee shop and pray over it. How we could pray over the people that go to movies that have witchcraft and other distractions from God.

James gathered his stuff together and began to get on his bike. Before he did, he told me a short story about a puppy who was lost and hungry. "Did you write that story, is that one of your short stories?" "I just made it up," he replied proudly. "I like it, write it down for me James, I want you to write those down." And as fast as it began, it ended, he said bye and rode away.

James, I am sorry. I am sorry of what I thought when I first saw you, my arrogance, my busyness, my ignorance. The peace that came during my time with James this morning was one I recognize, it was with God also. 

As I get older and seek time with God, family, meaning to it all, I realize I have got to be present. I don't want to be any of the things I once wanted. Wealthy, famous, powerful, in control or whatever that stuff was. Funny thing is as I give those things to God, release my life to His will, my desires, incredible things happen. Things so far beyond what I could have dreamed up, planned, schemed. He takes me places and introduces me to the most amazing adventures and people. Yesterday I sat and talked with the president of Ford Motor Company, a conversation about our ministry (KOZ) and our families. Today, maybe even better, a conversation with James about computers, movies and puppies. 

Jeremiah 29:11, " For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." And why do I get so wound up? Jeez, I am about as dumb as a rock. But hopeful! God is so good to me.